Don’t invite the Five-O

Food.

You know it’s not a party until somebody busts out the illegal substance. Why not let that somebody be you.

Sure, you could bring a bottle of wine, a candle or some homemade cookies which is always appreciated. But if you want to establish yourself as an awesome gift giver with a flare for style, savvy and underground resources, then I’m here to tell you how to score some illegal cheese. This is the kind of young cheese that has layers of flavors which melt in your mouth!

Like any gift worth giving, illegal cheese takes some effort to procure. They are illegal in the U.S. because they still have all the bacteria’s that can cause some issues such as E. coli and Salmonella. However, the French have been eating this way for hundreds of years without much consequence. Due to the small factor of contamination you should always let people in on the specifics of the contraband.

I have found that if you visit your local cheese monger and throw around a couple of choice words such as: barely legal, raw-milk cheeses and French Style you will be led in the right direction. Never use the phrase “illegal cheese” and you may try to visit the store a couple of times to build a rapport before pulling out the big guns.

The reward for your hard work will likely not be forgotten. --b